Here I will talk about my guiltiest pleasure at the moment. Apart from what I get up to on weekends. Yikes.
I am, of course, talking about The Hotel on Channel 4. Made by the same people that followed pregnant women around, this follows the day-to-day like around a mid-range bed and breakfast. It has its share of characters, none of which are unbelievable, and situations. There's a wedding, a proposal, kids and next week, a psychic.
It is utterly delightful and heart warming.
This show seems to capture the essence of calm through its chilled atmosphere and quirky staff, most of whom are Eastern European like any good British hotel. There's a creepy owner, who likes like he wandered out of Psychoville or a Little Britain sketch. He always arrives with flowers, begging them to be put into water with "a little bit of sugar". Innuendo ahoy. There's the head chef, a swearing hipster who seems to get into arguments with everyone in the kitchen and out, yet comes across as a genuine and good person. He even seems to know how to cook with his often repeated catchphrase "If you wouldn't stick your cock in it, it's hot enough."
A lovely receptionist seems to keep the guests happy while the staff can barely understand each other inbetween turning up to work drunk and smashing plates as if it were a Greek wedding. I think there was one actually.
The main "star" is the Welsh manager, one of the most hands on managers I have ever seen. He takes order, he cleans, he feeds the pigs. Nobody knows why there are pigs there by the way. He helps in the kitchen, he sorts out the rooms, he does the special requests. There seems to be a feeling that if he wasn't there, it would fall apart. Not that it isn't falling apart.
The first episode focuses around a proposal, which seems to go down well. I mean, she accepts, despite his cheesy picture of some glowstick thing. Then the Welsh manager comes out with champagne, soaking up goodwill, and all is fine. It's quite heartwarming and some of the one-on-one conversations really show this. We also see a wedding, which fucks over the kitchen staff. Complaints from TripAdvisor from racist guests. Kids running around everywhere. Men falling over. Ghost shower.
Can't explain that one.
All in all, it is a delightful show, yet incredibly terrifying. Is my hotel run like that? When I go into a hotel, this is how it's run? People nicking wedding cake? Flowers with sugar? The kitchen fucking everybody over?
This is why I stay the fuck out of British hotels.
Monday, 16 May 2011
Doctor Who: Series 6 (So far...)
Let's get into it, this review is late as it is.
First double parter answered one question and made several more. Fuck you, Steven Moffat. Either way, it was a great way to kick off a series and the opening double kept momentum up, something which I think should be done in every series after this. It has been talked about to death on blogs and whatnot, so I won't go any further, but give it a watch. It's better than Merlin.
The next episode...had pirates. Awesome. This bit of whimsy was pretty good and it had Hugh Bonneville, just back from his excellent turn in Twenty Twelve. However, the episode was merely a usual "meet a group of people and save them" episode hidden behind a skull and crossbones. While the introduction of a child raised emotion, it was hardly enough. There was also a gaping plothole where a man disappears and turns up again, which suggests cracks or poor editing. We also got a very pretty, yet hollow villain, played by Lily Cole. It did suggest something that may come up later on in the series, but let's not go into that. Enough geeks have. And I'm not a geek. At least not one that can be bothered.
Now, the most recent episode, The Doctor's Wife. With an episode title like that, it attracts attention, like that massive cop-out that was The Next Doctor. This was written by Neil Gaiman, an excellent comic writer, best known for his book, Sandman, and for the book that was adapted into Stardust. Expectations = High. no pressure.
It kicks off into high gear with promises of Time Lords and the like, so they go outside of the universe. There they meet patchwork people, an Ood and the scrumptious Suranne Jones, playing Idris. The planet tries to eat the TARDIS and the Doctor and Idris try to stop it.
And Rory dies again.
Why was this episode so good? It wasn't the most complex by any means. There was no frustrating timey-wimey like in the opening two parter's opening five minutes. There was good acting, however, as Matt Smith stopped acting like a baby and added some gravitas which has been missed since the reign of Tennant. His relationship with the TARDIS is explored, something which has only been hinted at, and like all good series, it hints at what is to come in the rest of the series. Not to mention some quoteworthy lines that I'm sure will be on T-Shirts at Comic Con.
Arthur Darville proves to be the best actor/character on the show again and Amy Pond is slightly less annoying, especially as she doesn't seem to know everything anymore. Neither did the Doctor, which was a nice change. All in all, it was a good episode, probably the best of the series so far, though the stakes did seem lower than in the opening attack of the series.
Next week is a double parter which looks incredibly dull and could have been fit into one. Like the Silurians one or that Impossible Pit or that other one which escapes me, but was rotten.
Go for it. Geronimo.
This review has been incredibly rushed. I may start doing them in video form.
First double parter answered one question and made several more. Fuck you, Steven Moffat. Either way, it was a great way to kick off a series and the opening double kept momentum up, something which I think should be done in every series after this. It has been talked about to death on blogs and whatnot, so I won't go any further, but give it a watch. It's better than Merlin.
The next episode...had pirates. Awesome. This bit of whimsy was pretty good and it had Hugh Bonneville, just back from his excellent turn in Twenty Twelve. However, the episode was merely a usual "meet a group of people and save them" episode hidden behind a skull and crossbones. While the introduction of a child raised emotion, it was hardly enough. There was also a gaping plothole where a man disappears and turns up again, which suggests cracks or poor editing. We also got a very pretty, yet hollow villain, played by Lily Cole. It did suggest something that may come up later on in the series, but let's not go into that. Enough geeks have. And I'm not a geek. At least not one that can be bothered.
Now, the most recent episode, The Doctor's Wife. With an episode title like that, it attracts attention, like that massive cop-out that was The Next Doctor. This was written by Neil Gaiman, an excellent comic writer, best known for his book, Sandman, and for the book that was adapted into Stardust. Expectations = High. no pressure.
It kicks off into high gear with promises of Time Lords and the like, so they go outside of the universe. There they meet patchwork people, an Ood and the scrumptious Suranne Jones, playing Idris. The planet tries to eat the TARDIS and the Doctor and Idris try to stop it.
And Rory dies again.
Why was this episode so good? It wasn't the most complex by any means. There was no frustrating timey-wimey like in the opening two parter's opening five minutes. There was good acting, however, as Matt Smith stopped acting like a baby and added some gravitas which has been missed since the reign of Tennant. His relationship with the TARDIS is explored, something which has only been hinted at, and like all good series, it hints at what is to come in the rest of the series. Not to mention some quoteworthy lines that I'm sure will be on T-Shirts at Comic Con.
Arthur Darville proves to be the best actor/character on the show again and Amy Pond is slightly less annoying, especially as she doesn't seem to know everything anymore. Neither did the Doctor, which was a nice change. All in all, it was a good episode, probably the best of the series so far, though the stakes did seem lower than in the opening attack of the series.
Next week is a double parter which looks incredibly dull and could have been fit into one. Like the Silurians one or that Impossible Pit or that other one which escapes me, but was rotten.
Go for it. Geronimo.
This review has been incredibly rushed. I may start doing them in video form.
Monday, 24 January 2011
10 O'Clock Recorded...
I do not have a TV license, so I have to wait a while for whatever to get uploaded onto 4OD or iPlayer or uTorrent. Therefore, I missed out on the LIVE excitement of 10 O'Clock Live, which is a new topical satire comedy programme with the same cast as the Alternative Election Night, which actually beat ITV when it came to ratings. David Mitchell, Charlie Brooker, Jimmy Carr and Lauren Laverne. Looks good, it really does. However, something being live and made very quickly to keep it topical can disrupt quality. Let's look:
First off was Jimmy Carr running off the week's headlines. This format suits him, with snappy one liners, and it was fairly topical, some of the jokes about very recent events, like the resignation of Alan Johnson. It did tend to rely on crude innuendo, mainly the reason why Ed Balls will never be anything ever. These were hit-and-miss, as anybody will tell you over at Saturday Night Live and every sketch show ever. And Carr looks nervous.
David Mitchell has a table discussion about bankers, something which has been done to death, but Mitchell brings some new ideas to it and some enthusiasm. I'm guessing this isn't supposed to be a knock-out laugh, but it wasn't great, if very short as well. Not developed enough. Audience claps a lot after generic crowd pleasing statements all over the show as well.
Charlie Brooker does his usual narration thing about Sarah Palin (and later about Tunisia), which is good as he always is and above the usual swearing which people think that he is. Good segment to the programme. The less said about Lauren Laverne's solo segment, the better. However, she has received a lot of criticism for this show, when I say that, I mean Twitter, despite her not being known for comey and being brought in to be a sort of grounding force, I'm assuming.
Carr does a holiday broadcast for Tunisia, fairly funny. Mitchell does his corner thing and rants a wee bit. More Brooker, Carr talks to some mental environmentalist who likes white clouds, Mitchell debates tuition fees with a minister, round table discussion. END.
First of all, this is needed. A topical show is something that is incredibly lacking in the UK, with only Have I Got News For You being prevalent in the schedule and the rest of it being drama or sitcoms that appear only when they fucking want to. Great. Considering how much America has, with the Daily Show being the most cited example and rightly so as Jon Stewart is probably the most influential man in America right now. Probably. Actually, fuck it, he is. Yeah. So this is something the UK needed, it's here and it is...slightly above average.
The cast is solid, they work to their strengths. They bounce off of each other very well, delivery is decent. There is something missing, some warmth, some comfort. Everything seems rushed, it is early in the show's history, but I feel they are packing far too much in, everybody talks too fast and everyone seems panicked, whilst the issues being talked about do not get the depth that some of them deserve. As the show gets along, it may become more familiar and easier fo rthe cast and crew, they can get into a sort of rhythm.
Yeah, watch this. It'll take a while, but it'll get good. Hopefully.
First off was Jimmy Carr running off the week's headlines. This format suits him, with snappy one liners, and it was fairly topical, some of the jokes about very recent events, like the resignation of Alan Johnson. It did tend to rely on crude innuendo, mainly the reason why Ed Balls will never be anything ever. These were hit-and-miss, as anybody will tell you over at Saturday Night Live and every sketch show ever. And Carr looks nervous.
David Mitchell has a table discussion about bankers, something which has been done to death, but Mitchell brings some new ideas to it and some enthusiasm. I'm guessing this isn't supposed to be a knock-out laugh, but it wasn't great, if very short as well. Not developed enough. Audience claps a lot after generic crowd pleasing statements all over the show as well.
Charlie Brooker does his usual narration thing about Sarah Palin (and later about Tunisia), which is good as he always is and above the usual swearing which people think that he is. Good segment to the programme. The less said about Lauren Laverne's solo segment, the better. However, she has received a lot of criticism for this show, when I say that, I mean Twitter, despite her not being known for comey and being brought in to be a sort of grounding force, I'm assuming.
Carr does a holiday broadcast for Tunisia, fairly funny. Mitchell does his corner thing and rants a wee bit. More Brooker, Carr talks to some mental environmentalist who likes white clouds, Mitchell debates tuition fees with a minister, round table discussion. END.
First of all, this is needed. A topical show is something that is incredibly lacking in the UK, with only Have I Got News For You being prevalent in the schedule and the rest of it being drama or sitcoms that appear only when they fucking want to. Great. Considering how much America has, with the Daily Show being the most cited example and rightly so as Jon Stewart is probably the most influential man in America right now. Probably. Actually, fuck it, he is. Yeah. So this is something the UK needed, it's here and it is...slightly above average.
The cast is solid, they work to their strengths. They bounce off of each other very well, delivery is decent. There is something missing, some warmth, some comfort. Everything seems rushed, it is early in the show's history, but I feel they are packing far too much in, everybody talks too fast and everyone seems panicked, whilst the issues being talked about do not get the depth that some of them deserve. As the show gets along, it may become more familiar and easier fo rthe cast and crew, they can get into a sort of rhythm.
Yeah, watch this. It'll take a while, but it'll get good. Hopefully.
Saturday, 15 January 2011
No likey, no lighty.
Oh, how I love the trashy Take Me Out (ITV1).
The show is reverently hosted by Paddy McGuiness, having a lot of fun with a decent paycheck I'll bet, who seems to be Northern plasticine stuffed into a suit and given food driven innuendo.
Let the pork meet the pies indeed. Let the bacon meet the butty.
Recently, it seems to be given a lottery-esque budget boost, with the date now in a foreign country, the fascist state run by Fernando it seems. He's gone a long way from just owning a restaurant. If you don't understand, you don't watch nearly enough Take Me Out.
The women seem to be trashier and more desperate. If this sounds sexist, chauvinistic (in a male sense, not a jingoistic one) and slightly bigoted, it is. Whatever. Get over it. Hardly any lights are turned off after mentioning that they're from Gretna or wherever, whereas in the last season you were lucky to stay with half of the lights on after that bombshell. Maybe they're less shallow. Discuss.
One of the "talents" was shooting a billard ball at a coin to get it into a glass. What? Does that impress sober people?
It did. The same man spent a minute discussing his "OCD" because his cleaning products all faced the same way. However, he was a family man so that makes up for the boredom apparently. Yay. Love is in the air.
It is incredible trash, that is on every week and I will probably watch it every week, despite me thinking it is utter crap.
Let the hippo meet the crisy.
Oh and there's an advert with Jedward and Omid Djalili. Bricks will be shat.
The show is reverently hosted by Paddy McGuiness, having a lot of fun with a decent paycheck I'll bet, who seems to be Northern plasticine stuffed into a suit and given food driven innuendo.
Let the pork meet the pies indeed. Let the bacon meet the butty.
Recently, it seems to be given a lottery-esque budget boost, with the date now in a foreign country, the fascist state run by Fernando it seems. He's gone a long way from just owning a restaurant. If you don't understand, you don't watch nearly enough Take Me Out.
The women seem to be trashier and more desperate. If this sounds sexist, chauvinistic (in a male sense, not a jingoistic one) and slightly bigoted, it is. Whatever. Get over it. Hardly any lights are turned off after mentioning that they're from Gretna or wherever, whereas in the last season you were lucky to stay with half of the lights on after that bombshell. Maybe they're less shallow. Discuss.
One of the "talents" was shooting a billard ball at a coin to get it into a glass. What? Does that impress sober people?
It did. The same man spent a minute discussing his "OCD" because his cleaning products all faced the same way. However, he was a family man so that makes up for the boredom apparently. Yay. Love is in the air.
It is incredible trash, that is on every week and I will probably watch it every week, despite me thinking it is utter crap.
Let the hippo meet the crisy.
Oh and there's an advert with Jedward and Omid Djalili. Bricks will be shat.
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
I think I'm having an Episode...
I think it's about bloody time something ripped the piss out of Hollywood. Yeah, Hollywood. On its pedastal, looking down on everything and telling us that it is better than us. Yeah, screw Hollywood, we need something to make jolly good fun out of it.
It's been done before? Dammit.
How about TV? Yeah...but that's been done before as well. Hmm.
So was there any need for Episodes (BBC)? I suppose not.
However, there is always a need for substantial quality and this brought Tamsin Grieg (Green Wing, Black Books) and Stephen Mangan (Green Wing, Free Agents), two highlights of British comedy at the moment. I have laughed at these two before, so why couldn't I do the same again? There is no reason, right? Hmm.
Well, we have a quite generic look at the workings behind television. Grieg and Mangan are married and have won awards for their show, of which I cannot remember, but a Hollywood TV maker guy offers them to remake it in America. Live in LA for a while. WOW. Sounds like every person's dream. Ben Miller scowls in the background (the only funny bit of the programme). However, we get complaints before they've even left Britain about, "Oh. I'm unsure." Whiny bitch. The fact that sells it is that they get to write the US version as well, which to me sounds like a pitfall. Take the money and run, let some pretentious moron write it. That could well be my skewed moral compass there.
They arrive and look at their massive house, filled with fake columns. Hilarity ensues. Scene with a bath that is too big. Hilarity.
Then they realise that nobody has watched their show, despite people telling them that they had. There are American accents also, aren't those Americans silly?! Yeah, it's been done before as well. Go away. They get their star actor, Richard Griffiths, who is typically English and he is rejected as being too British. He comes back with an American accent and it isn't funny to them, or anyone in the viewing public. So they get Matt LeBlanc!
Yeah, the "big draw" was Matt LeBlanc (Joey from Joey), yet he appears in all of twenty seconds at the beginning. The rest of the programme is flashback. Pulp Fictiony. Yeah, cannot blame LeBlanc, he read his three lines perfectly.
The programme is so subverted, it is not funny. The process isn't funny, so why should the show? Geddit? If that was their purpose, then they should get multiple prizes, yet I doubt that was the point of this tedious and awkward show. Everything is obvious and forced, a gatekeeper who cannot remember the writers a key example. This show screams of underwhelment (word?).
It still has time to improve which I hope it does, perhaps with more LeBlanc factor.
Who would have thought anybody would have said that ever?!
It's been done before? Dammit.
How about TV? Yeah...but that's been done before as well. Hmm.
So was there any need for Episodes (BBC)? I suppose not.
However, there is always a need for substantial quality and this brought Tamsin Grieg (Green Wing, Black Books) and Stephen Mangan (Green Wing, Free Agents), two highlights of British comedy at the moment. I have laughed at these two before, so why couldn't I do the same again? There is no reason, right? Hmm.
Well, we have a quite generic look at the workings behind television. Grieg and Mangan are married and have won awards for their show, of which I cannot remember, but a Hollywood TV maker guy offers them to remake it in America. Live in LA for a while. WOW. Sounds like every person's dream. Ben Miller scowls in the background (the only funny bit of the programme). However, we get complaints before they've even left Britain about, "Oh. I'm unsure." Whiny bitch. The fact that sells it is that they get to write the US version as well, which to me sounds like a pitfall. Take the money and run, let some pretentious moron write it. That could well be my skewed moral compass there.
They arrive and look at their massive house, filled with fake columns. Hilarity ensues. Scene with a bath that is too big. Hilarity.
Then they realise that nobody has watched their show, despite people telling them that they had. There are American accents also, aren't those Americans silly?! Yeah, it's been done before as well. Go away. They get their star actor, Richard Griffiths, who is typically English and he is rejected as being too British. He comes back with an American accent and it isn't funny to them, or anyone in the viewing public. So they get Matt LeBlanc!
Yeah, the "big draw" was Matt LeBlanc (Joey from Joey), yet he appears in all of twenty seconds at the beginning. The rest of the programme is flashback. Pulp Fictiony. Yeah, cannot blame LeBlanc, he read his three lines perfectly.
The programme is so subverted, it is not funny. The process isn't funny, so why should the show? Geddit? If that was their purpose, then they should get multiple prizes, yet I doubt that was the point of this tedious and awkward show. Everything is obvious and forced, a gatekeeper who cannot remember the writers a key example. This show screams of underwhelment (word?).
It still has time to improve which I hope it does, perhaps with more LeBlanc factor.
Who would have thought anybody would have said that ever?!
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Hiatus is over.
I recently got the internet back. Stop fretting (or begin fretting, then stop) as I have returned.
Luther (BBC1) stars Idris "Shooter Bell" Elba, as he is often referred, as a cop that doesn't play by the rules. Sounds cliche? Well there's more. He is the smartest person on the police force and could quite well be a genius. Seen that one too? Well he has relationship troubles. Oh? Erm...
He put a pedophile into a coma. Got you there.
The man who is "nitroglycerin", according to an unusually poetic police officer, tracked down a sex offender, interrogated him and left him to fall, him becoming comatose. Seven months out of the force, relationship problems. He's back. What now?
A villain as smart as him? Sure, the trope bucket is not full yet.
How can something so obvious and unoriginal be any good then? I'll tell you how. Through an astounding lead with Elba and an astounding actress in Ruth Wilson. It makes this battle of wits very interesting and came up with one the best lines in TV Drama of recent memory: "Kiss me. Kill me. Do something."
I have the shivers.
As if that wasn't enough, we get a cop killer in Episode 2. Nice.
The stylish, overblown tone of the series is something we don't usually get in BBC Cop Drama, with many preferring to focus on realism and edge and grit. We have all that, but we get a huge helping of some damn good entertainment as well. And that's always nice. Elba works with massive aplomb, talking about black holes as if it were the football scores.
Would be the best thing on television, if it wasn't for that bloody Doctor.
Luther (BBC1) stars Idris "Shooter Bell" Elba, as he is often referred, as a cop that doesn't play by the rules. Sounds cliche? Well there's more. He is the smartest person on the police force and could quite well be a genius. Seen that one too? Well he has relationship troubles. Oh? Erm...
He put a pedophile into a coma. Got you there.
The man who is "nitroglycerin", according to an unusually poetic police officer, tracked down a sex offender, interrogated him and left him to fall, him becoming comatose. Seven months out of the force, relationship problems. He's back. What now?
A villain as smart as him? Sure, the trope bucket is not full yet.
How can something so obvious and unoriginal be any good then? I'll tell you how. Through an astounding lead with Elba and an astounding actress in Ruth Wilson. It makes this battle of wits very interesting and came up with one the best lines in TV Drama of recent memory: "Kiss me. Kill me. Do something."
I have the shivers.
As if that wasn't enough, we get a cop killer in Episode 2. Nice.
The stylish, overblown tone of the series is something we don't usually get in BBC Cop Drama, with many preferring to focus on realism and edge and grit. We have all that, but we get a huge helping of some damn good entertainment as well. And that's always nice. Elba works with massive aplomb, talking about black holes as if it were the football scores.
Would be the best thing on television, if it wasn't for that bloody Doctor.
Sunday, 31 January 2010
I slept with a Celebrity, Big Brother.
It's over. Mr Jordan won, close to deservedly. Woop de doo.
Vinnie went from working class hero to stuck up prick, Jonas turned from love sick farter to a surprisingly cool gentleman and so on and so forth. And so ends a genuinely entertaining installment of Celebrity Big Brother (C4). At least in my opinion. Despite having Davina McCall running around like a pedophile/pantomime villain in a chicken costume, it didn't turn into a mockery. I could talk about it for another week, instead, I'll give out some slightly trivial awards.
Most Awkward Question
"Who would you rather shoot your daughter in the head: You or a terrorist?"
Stephen Baldwin.
WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT? It's not even a hypothetical question. If a terrorist is holding your daughter captive, it's very unlikely he would suggest that you shoot her instead. Unless the terrorist is a schizophrenic from the Bible Belt like Stephen.
Least Entertaining Highlight
Vinnie Jones watching Leeds' FA Cup tie against Tottenham. Two minutes of him jumping in a chair like a deranged toddler who wants more Angel Delight. Give me a break.
Least Imaginitive Made Up Task
"I bet his task is to pop that ball, without his shoes on or something." If that was a genuine task, Sisqo, I'd start to seriously wonder what type of a program I had just entered.
Funniest Simile
"If bullshit was music, there would be a brass band next door."
Biggest Pricktease
Katia. Fuck off.
The One Who Should Have Won
Stephanie. She seemed to genuinely enjoy every day in that house and constantly made me laugh. Especially when she broke Ivana Writeabook's trophy.
There we go. That'll do for now.
SIDENOTE:
Take Me Out (ITV1) just got even more cruel whent he first contestant to not get a date left the stage with "All By Myself" by Celene Dion playing in the background.
Not kosher.
Vinnie went from working class hero to stuck up prick, Jonas turned from love sick farter to a surprisingly cool gentleman and so on and so forth. And so ends a genuinely entertaining installment of Celebrity Big Brother (C4). At least in my opinion. Despite having Davina McCall running around like a pedophile/pantomime villain in a chicken costume, it didn't turn into a mockery. I could talk about it for another week, instead, I'll give out some slightly trivial awards.
Most Awkward Question
"Who would you rather shoot your daughter in the head: You or a terrorist?"
Stephen Baldwin.
WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT? It's not even a hypothetical question. If a terrorist is holding your daughter captive, it's very unlikely he would suggest that you shoot her instead. Unless the terrorist is a schizophrenic from the Bible Belt like Stephen.
Least Entertaining Highlight
Vinnie Jones watching Leeds' FA Cup tie against Tottenham. Two minutes of him jumping in a chair like a deranged toddler who wants more Angel Delight. Give me a break.
Least Imaginitive Made Up Task
"I bet his task is to pop that ball, without his shoes on or something." If that was a genuine task, Sisqo, I'd start to seriously wonder what type of a program I had just entered.
Funniest Simile
"If bullshit was music, there would be a brass band next door."
Biggest Pricktease
Katia. Fuck off.
The One Who Should Have Won
Stephanie. She seemed to genuinely enjoy every day in that house and constantly made me laugh. Especially when she broke Ivana Writeabook's trophy.
There we go. That'll do for now.
SIDENOTE:
Take Me Out (ITV1) just got even more cruel whent he first contestant to not get a date left the stage with "All By Myself" by Celene Dion playing in the background.
Not kosher.
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